Leaders wanted

By Gord Henderson
Windsor Star

Canada's major political party leaders get set for their pre-debate photo-op in Ottawa on October 2. Gord Henderson wonders why none of them has the leadership to inspire Canadians. (Blair Gable/Reuters)

WINDSOR - How did a nation of 33 million souls, a nation with a seemingly inexhaustible supply of smartass comedians, soaring rock stars and combative hockey players, turn into a wasteland when it comes to political talent?     

About an hour into this week's English-language "leadership" debate, an hour I can never get back, my mind wandered and I started thinking about poor Joe Clark.     

Remember Joe? Remember the bayonet-embracing, arithmetic-challenged klutz from High River who was PM for approximately five minutes and spent most of his political career being either knifed in the back by party plotters or kicked in the groin by Canadians who didn't think he had the right stuff?     

Well it turns out it's all about timing, because the Joe Clark who once provided chinless fodder for cartoonists would have made chowder out of the cold fish who offered themselves up to Canadians this week. He would have eaten these small fry alive, which speaks volumes about the draining of Canada's political talent pool.     

Where is Pierre Trudeau when we really need him? How could a country that produced orators and visionaries of the calibre of Trudeau and John Diefenbaker be reduced to choosing between the frozen android, Stephen Harper, and the uninspiring also-rans who would take his place?     

The one glimmer of hope Thursday night came from Elizabeth May, the spunky Green party leader who proved to Canadians that they were dead right in demanding she be included in the debate.     

May, a U.S.-born environmental lawyer, showed she belonged (which isn't saying much) and oozed confidence as she repeatedly rattled Harper's chain.   

The highlight of the evening was Harper grinning awkwardly and saying nothing, like the kid caught with his mitt in the cookie jar, while a finger-wagging May gave him a piece of her mind. At 54, she's only five years older than Harper, but the moment reeked of mom and her bratty son. I half expected May to toss this bad boy over her knee and administer a damn good spanking.     

Patron saint of lost causes     

May's problem, and the problem for Canadian voters, is that she leads a children's crusade of no-name candidates, some barely out of high school and still battling zits, and will be lucky to win her own election fight, let alone lead a Green contingent into Parliament. I hope she has St. Jude, patron saint of lost causes, working the phones.     

What are the alternatives? I know it's unfair but NDP Leader Jack Layton makes me think of a Fuller Brush salesman. Not that I have anything against salesmen. But he should lose the moustache and that smug, bantam rooster arrogance. If you were stuck on a desert island with Layton and had to listen to him pontificate day after day, you might consider ending it all with a broken clam shell.     

Liberal Leader Stephane Dion is brilliant, courageous and a man of integrity. So what's not to like? Sadly, the guy couldn't sell himself to save his soul. He's your classic geek, the pointy-headed academic who rules the lecture hall, and it remains a mystery how Liberal delegates concluded he might have the royal jelly.     

Bloc Leader Gilles Duceppe, the former union organizer who has spent 18 years working to break up Canada and is now in line to collect cash for life from Canadian taxpayers, appeared bored to tears. And why not? His high-stakes show was the French-language debate the previous night. Thursday was a yawn-inducing afterthought.     

And then there's Harper. I'm still having trouble, two-and-a-half years on, getting my head around the idea he's our prime minister. Stiff, distant, with the iciest blue eyes I've ever seen, he projects all the warmth of a backroom right-wing policy wonk, which is what he was before entering the political arena. He seemed even more withdrawn Thursday, like a tired boxer leaning on the ropes, ducking and dodging, confident he's ahead on points and unwilling to chance a knockout.     

We are bereft of real leadership as a nation. We're not hearing the visionary, nation-building ideas every country needs to inspire its citizens. We're headed, at a cost of $300 million, back to the status quo, an unstable minority government.     

Meanwhile, the folks next door, after enduring eight years of knuckle-headed leadership, appear set to elect Barack Obama, an orator for the ages who gushes charisma, as their next president. The contrast will be painful.     

Little wonder Harper wanted this election out of the way.